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How to Forgive Someone
It’s natural to feel bitter or develop a grudge when you are hurt by someone. As bitterness builds inside of you, it’s usually followed by a swarm of other emotions—feelings of anger, resentment and rejection accompanied by a desire for revenge.
Toxic emotions don’t change your situation or the person that hurt you. As you let them take over, they do change you, hurting you far more than the other person. And it doesn’t stop there. When bitterness and resentment take control, they can spill over and infect others who aren’t even involved.
This is why the Bible refers to bitterness as poison. “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many” (Hebrews 12:15). If you aren’t careful, it can hurt you and those close to you. Ask yourself: Do you like being around someone who is bitter or angry?
The Bible goes a step further and explains why it’s important to forgive, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior” (Ephesians 4:31).
So, how do we forgive others? There are many paths to forgiveness but nearly all of them include these three steps.
- Recognize the importance Jesus put on forgiveness. When He was teaching the disciples how to talk to God, He mentioned it in His model prayer, “Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” (Matthew 6:12).
- Reject the Devil. Let go of your anger. Don’t give Satan a chance to use your bitterness, “And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27).
- Remember God has forgiven you. “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13).
Lastly, have you acknowledged God’s forgiveness? Do you understand the sacrifice Jesus made so you could be forgiven? If not, don’t delay.
Discover God’s ultimate forgiveness and why it was so costly.
Step 1 – God’s Purpose: Peace and Life
The Bible says:
"We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."
Romans 5:1
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16
"I [Jesus] came that they may have life and have it abundantly."
John 10:10
Step 2 – The Problem: Sin Separates Us
The Bible says:
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
Romans 3:23
"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 6:23
The Bible says:
"There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death."
Proverbs 14:12
"But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear."
Isaiah 59:2
Step 3 – God’s Remedy: The Cross
The Bible says:
"For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus."
1 Timothy 2:5
"For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that He might bring us to God."
1 Peter 3:18
"But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8
Step 4 – Our Response: Receive Christ
The Bible says:
"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with Me."
Revelation 3:20
"But to all who did receive Him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God."
John 1:12
"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."
Romans 10:9
Here is how you can receive Christ:
- Admit your need. (I am a sinner.)
- Be willing to turn from your sins (repent) and ask for God's forgiveness.
- Believe that Jesus Christ died for you on the cross and rose from the grave.
- Through prayer, invite Jesus Christ to come in and control your life through the Holy Spirit. (Receive Jesus as Lord and Savior)
We suggest a prayer like this one:
"Dear God, I know I am a sinner. I want to turn from my sins, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe He died for my sins and that You raised Him to life. I want Him to come into my heart and to take control of my life. I want to trust Jesus as my Savior and follow Him as my Lord from this day forward. In Jesus' Name, amen."
Did you pray this prayer?